The series "Lives of Omission" aired its finale a few weeks ago and with the popularity of the series, TVB took the opportunity to heavily promote main leads Michael Tse and Fala Chen – whether they will become TV King and Queen or not depends upon the Heavens. I [Wang Man Ling] have never been one to ‘chase’ TV series – the only reason why I decided to turn on the TV and watch the finale to "Lives of Omission" was because on that day, I had interviewed one of the co-stars of the series, Ben Wong. During our interview, Ben very excitedly told me about the storyline of the finale and how actor Damian Lau encouraged him to add his own more ‘emotional’ dialogue for the death scene of his character ‘Lat Gerng’ (辣薑) so as to leave a deeper impression on the audience. Hearing this made me interested in watching.
At the celebration event for the series, the camera was primarily focused on the 4 main siu sangs and fa dans, barely panning over to anyone else – since Ben stood at the very end of the second row, he had even less chance of being seen on camera.
Many years ago [mid-90s], Ben Wong participated in the series "A Kindred Spirit" playing the character of ‘Ah Hoi’ – a very popular character at the time. After he left TVB [TN: He left TVB in 2000 and went to ATV, then to Mainland] and later returned, he had to start all over again -- though he didn’t have to start from the very bottom, his only option was to take on supporting roles. However, Ben himself is very understanding of how things work at the company and therefore does not ‘insist’ on playing lead roles; rather, he focuses all his effort on portraying every single character well.
The opportunities that Ben Wong received at TVB weren’t too bad – being able to portray the character of ‘Ah Hoi’ was surely something to be envious about. Later on, because he wanted to challenge himself and seek a breakthrough in his career, he decided to leave TVB and try his luck outside. That decision definitely opened his eyes and broadened his horizons: “Since I was at TVB for so many years, I very naturally got used to the company’s structure and methods. Filming series outside is a whole different experience, as it allowed me to interact with different production teams and venture outside the box.” During that time, he also got to know quite a few ‘teachers’ – for example, lighting crew and cameramen – who taught him a lot about how to arrange lighting for various scenes and also where cameras should be placed for ideal camera angles. He continued to learn different things and it helped him adapt to the different environment.
Ben started at TVB as a host for the children’s program "Flash Fax" [閃電傳真機] , where he remained for 5 years before being transferred to the drama department. “After having hosted a children’s program for 5 years, I couldn’t exactly consider myself a ‘newcomer’, but in the drama department, there was no doubt that I was a newbie.” The process of adapting to the new environment was quite difficult for him: “For my first series, I was already tasked to go to the Mainland to film an ancient series. I had no acting experience whatsoever, but yet, in other people’s minds, I could not be considered a newcomer.”
A feeling of defeat unlike any he had experienced before
During filming of that series, all of the martial arts moves were taught on the spot by the choreographer – as soon as they learned the moves, the actors had to put them into action right away; not only that, the artists had to be very alert. “It was a very difficult situation, as I had to pay attention to so many different things -- my own moves as well as those of my opponent, the position of my feet, facial expressions, etc.” Only a few martial arts moves and couldn’t even handle it? At the time, Ben felt a huge sense of defeat – in those types of circumstances, they would just replace you immediately with a stuntman to do the moves. “In my mind, I kept saying “I’m dead! Am I really that bad that I can’t even handle a few kungfu moves? Definitely gave myself a lot of ‘invisible’ pressure!” Especially when everyone’s eyes seem to be on you, the pressure is even greater: “A few moves and have to NG 3 or 4 times – it’s embarrassing!”
At the moment he was feeling a sense of defeat unlike any he had experienced before, a cameraman whom he had worked with back when he was hosting children’s programs saw his plight and offered words of encouragement: “Ben, you don’t need to be afraid. You’re only an actor – if you are not able to do the moves, the choreographer will change things around so that you are able to do it – after all, you’re not a stuntman….the most important thing is to pay attention to the facial expressions and the acting piece of it.” These words were like an alarm that suddenly woke him and steadied him – he no longer felt frustrated, but rather felt energized and slowly, he was able to understand the essence of the moves. “That was many years ago and perhaps no one remembers anymore, but to me, the impact was very deep.”
It can be said that Ben’s development at TVB ‘falls short of the best, but is better than the worst’: “Portraying the character ‘Ah Hoi’ gave me a very good foundation and helped me establish affinity early with the audience. It’s almost like a singer who encounters a good song – as soon as you hear the song, you know who sings it. You just need to mention the character of ‘Ah Hoi’ in "A Kindred Spirit" and people know it was me who played the character. Out of more than 1000 episodes [TN: 1128 episodes to be exact], I participated in 800 of them -- being able to play the same character for 4 years, definitely very deeply rooted foundation.”
Does not care about the amount of screentime he has
After filming series outside of TVB for 4 years, he returned to the company in 2005, playing mostly supporting roles. In "Lives of Omission", his part is considered a pretty heavy one – he plays an undercover agent. Ben was reminded of something that veteran actor Lau Dan told him: “HK’s male actors need to portray 2 types of characters in order to become popular: one is a cop and the other is a triad vigilante (蠱惑仔).” Looking from the perspective of films, that definitely does seem to be the case. "Infernal Affairs", "A Better Tomorrow", "Young and Dangerous", all were films that had good box office results as well as good word of mouth and pushed the male actors to the peaks of their careers. “An undercover agent is the perfect combination of the two.” Ben feels that he was lucky to be given the opportunity to portray such a character and he treasures it, as it demonstrates that the producer and writers trust his abilities.
After returning to TVB, Ben never stopped filming series, it’s just that up to this point, he didn’t have very many important roles. To continue sharpening his skills, he made the decision to accept every series he was offered – as long as the director asked him, he would film it, doesn’t matter whether it’s 1 episode or 2 episodes. “In "The Life and Times of a Sentinel", I was only in 1 episode – why did I still film it? Because I really liked the character – sometimes, filming 1 episode is like filming an entire individual story…after the deed is done, then time to retreat.”
He accepts every offer regardless of how much screentime he has because he wants to demonstrate that he is a competent actor, but he also understands the ‘survival of the fittest’ concept: “I still need to make a living.” As for how to be happy and comfortable with only participating in 1 episode, Ben expresses: “That’s the homework that I give myself. If I have to feel uncomfortable or unhappy, I could still feel that way playing a lead role. I also don’t like to keep asking myself why I’m not main lead or why so-and-so makes more money than me. I only look to see how much water is in my own cup – if there is a lot of water, I consider myself lucky. With a lot of things, it depends on how you look at it.”
When some directors ask him to participate in a series, they tell him that it gives them reassurance: “How should I comprehend this? All I can do is try my best – I know that those people are giving me face and taking my feelings into consideration.” Even if the words are discouraging, he still listens and maintains good EQ: “You could say I’m used to it already, or you could say that I’m discerning – either way, I understand how the game is played.” He continues: “There’s a saying – we’re usually most grateful for things after they’ve occurred and we’ve had a chance to reflect. Going through those experiences helps me handle my roles better.” He doesn’t complain, even if treated unfairly? “It’s not like I’m rich or anything. If I only remain at the same level [of acting] all the time, it’s not enough to get me through life. When it comes to acting, you need to be willing to try different things in order to mature. Even being a villain, you need to have the right expressions, the right spirit – need to bring a human aspect to the character to some extent.”
Beginning and end of salary cycle
Ben is the 4th among 9 children in his family. When he was little, the family was so poor, they endured days when they simply eat white rice mixed with salt and oil – most of the time, they would only have 1 dish to accompany their meal. His father was a street vendor and had a small stall at the local street market, selling Cantonese barbeque delicacies: “Later on, because we offended some people, they would not let my dad open his stall anymore. He ended up taking a job as a security guard and made a lot less money. At least as a street vendor, he was able to bring home cash every day, plus whatever food he had leftover he could bring home for the family to eat.”
From the time he was in secondary school, Ben already understood the disparity between the ‘beginning’ and ‘end’ of a salary cycle. “When we came home and saw that there was only a plate of fermented tofu, half a salted egg, yam porridge, or oil and salt mixed with rice on the table, then we knew that it must be the ‘end’ of the salary cycle.” In order to help keep the family afloat, everyone chipped in with small jobs such as ‘cutting threads’: “With more physical jobs, all of us had gotten injured at some point – ‘cutting threads’ was safer, since couldn’t get hurt.”
At a young age, the boys in the family would ‘keep watch’ at the sewing factories: “As soon as the workers finished sewing a pair of jeans, they would throw it on the floor and we would quickly grab it – as soon as we had a dozen pairs, we would tie them up and throw them in the car, then once we got home, we would get to work cutting threads. Once completed, we would receive our money.” It was only during times when friends or relatives would visit and sometimes take them out to dinner that the family would get the chance to eat some good food.
His mother was his very first fan
With his difficult childhood, Ben quickly learned to be independent – whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or mending clothes, all of those were common tasks for him: “Amongst my siblings, even though there were 7 males and 2 females, it didn’t make a difference when it came to tasks around the house, as we all took turns doing them regardless of what type of tasks they were. It always seemed like there were endless tasks to be done.”
With a poor family background, Ben had to start working early: “When I was 17, I stopped asking my family for money. If I wanted to buy something, I would work non-stop, sometimes even working several jobs and save enough money to buy it myself.” After he started working and making his own money, Ben would make sure to buy things for his mom once in awhile – he remembers that when he bought her a purse, she didn’t want to use it: “My mom is truly very frugal. She does not splurge on any luxuries and never wants us to spend money on her. When I or any of my siblings would give her money for her personal use, she would save it up and then give it back to us. After I entered the industry, she was my very first fan.” Without his mother, the family would not be so united.
Nine kids having to grow up in a ‘shady’ area of Shum Shui Po and constantly having to go back and forth from the street market to their home, was there a danger of falling in with the wrong crowd? Ben proudly states: “The nine of us, none of us turned into bad people. Even though we would see a lot of shady types around the street market (loan sharks for example), luckily none of us were influenced by any of that.” Each member of the family may be independent, but yet they’re still close knit, meeting up at least 3 to 4 times a month. Also, if any member of the family needs help, the others are right there: “Blood is thicker than water, but since we’ve learned to be independent from a young age, we’re not the type to do huge family gatherings all the time. When someone in the family is in need, we all show up.”
In the Chinese culture, emotions are usually restrained, so huge displays of emotion, even within a family, are generally few and far between. Reflecting on this, Ben agrees that it’s the same with his family: “My parents rarely ever hug us or say things that are touching, but all of us are used to it already. None of us ever felt that our parents didn’t love us or that there was no warmth in the family.”
Before getting married, agreed not to have kids
Ben’s mother passed away relatively young (in her 60s), primarily due to the difficult life she led. He remembers a story about his mother: “When I was 40, I found out that my youngest brother was born with one kidney – all this time, none of us knew this. One time, we were having a conversation and when my brother mentioned it, my mother immediately said: ‘I’m sorry about that. I will give you one of my kidneys!’ When my brother heard this, he was in tears and said ‘No! That’s the way I was born and it is my destiny.’” During this part of the interview, upon thinking about his benevolent mother, Ben could not hold back his tears – he had to compose himself before we were able to continue.
For her 9 children, Ben’s mother led by example and in her own unique way, taught her children the basics of life: “She was always thinking of others before herself, it was very exhausting. In addition to maintaining the street vending business and running around constantly, she also had to take care of her 9 children.” Ben expressed that he wanted to buy a house for his mother, but unfortunately, he was not able to fulfill this wish. “I wanted her to have a toil-free life later on.”
6 years ago, Ben got married and because he didn’t want to ‘drift’ outside anymore, made the decision to return to TVB: “Even though I don’t make much money at TVB, it’s a stable job and I can remain in HK most of the time – it’s better than having to be away 8 months out of the year.” Before getting married, Ben and his wife already agreed that they would not have children: “It may not be difficult to raise a child, but teaching them is very hard and it’s a huge responsibility. I don’t feel that I’d be able to handle it.”
Regarding how to maintain a healthy marriage, Ben has his own thoughts – first and foremost though, love must exist: “It’s necessary to love each other’s flaws as well. Also, don’t try to force the other person to change who they are for you. Our backgrounds are different and we grew up in different environments, plus encountered different life experiences – it’s impossible for one person to change in order to accommodate the other. If the person is able to change, then that’s admirable, but if not, I wouldn’t be disappointed.” Ben and his wife are both Christians – having the same faith helps them have the same understanding of what love is all about.
“Each person has a certain amount of selfishness within them – it’s part of human nature. We accept each other’s selfishness and accept the fact that neither of us are perfect. If each of us brings 50% to the relationship, added together, that makes 100%. Individually, it’s impossible to get to 100%.”
As a couple, a similar value system is also important. Of course, it would be great if they could have a nice home, fancy car, etc. but if they don’t have these things, that’s fine too because they have learned to adjust: “Adjusting is also ‘homework’ for me. Of course, we will have always have desires, but also need to learn to be satisfied with what we have currently. There are things that I wish for as well, but I try to balance it with gratitude for what I do have. I may not have what I want now, but it may occur later – constantly waiting for opportunities.”
Due to his childhood situation, Ben is a very independent person – from a young age, he learned to rely on himself and it’s not easy for him to trust people. Even something such as applying makeup prior to filming, he likes to take it on himself. “It wasn’t until later on that I realized, in the entertainment industry, whether shooting series or films, it’s all about teamwork and having mutual trust in each other is important. They are all professionals – letting go and letting others take care of matters puts less stress on myself…plus letting people know I have confidence in them, makes me feel happy as well.”
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