My wife Cindy Au and I tied the knot in 2006, and had our first child,
Brad Kwok in 2008. In 2011, we went for another girl, Blair Kwok. I
became a father at age 43, and within my plans of having children, I do
have worries of when I'm old, there may be a generation gap between my
children and I. My parents were already gone (passed away) when I got
married and never got to witness my marriage, I feel some regret. Now
that I'm a parent myself and have such a large generation gap with my
children, I would think when they get married in the future, will I
still be around? If my son gets married late, I really can't live for
another 40 years!
I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters, since youth
my father was out making a living and my mother was a housewife. My
elder brothers and sisters took care of me the most, so I lacked
childhood education that I could use as a model for my children. I have
to create my own model on educating my children. I'm not really an
autocratic, I don't think everything needs to be distinguished between
black and white. To act according to convention can actually create the
generation gap. I see my children as friends, parents should not be
strict, I advocate for no social class.
After my oldest son Brad
was born, my life changed a lot. At first, I was really scared! Before
he was born, I was already mentally prepared, but in reality, everything
differed tremendously from what I had expected. It was then, I truly
felt that I had stepped into another stage in life! I thought I could
face it with ease, but turns out that I couldn't do it! My deepest
memory was when Brad was around 7 or 8 months old, one night he had a
high fever, my wife and I were so freaked out we didn't know what to do.
He was crying nonstop and didn't know how to talk, so we quickly sent
him to the hospital. At the time, I was thinking a baby that young, why
does he have to suffer such torment? He also had nose allergies, one
time his eyes were swollen as big as chicken eggs. I could feel he was
really scared himself. Fortunately my wife and I are both Christians,
and believe that parents shouldn't be the ones to blame for their
children falling ill. We mutually encouraged one another to leave our
son with God.
I changed diapers and gave them baths. In the
future, when they get married, I have handy pictures to prove that their
parents have contributed for them. They must continue the tradition and
treat their children the same way. I don't long for my children to
succeed in life, just hope they grow up healthy. We didn't choose a
famous school for them to go to nor is it necessary to move homes to
accommodate them. The kindergarten had about 2,000 children registering,
and during the interview, my son cleverly gave the teacher a kiss. Brad
is very cute, and really displays the true side of a child. On the
first day of school, he was crying like the world was ending, but on the
second day, he didn't cry at all and went into the classroom himself.
Then on the third day, he was crying again, but it turns out he thought
he only had to go to school for two days!
I have had quarrels
with my wife because of our children, but the most important is that
when we both calmed down, we were able to resolve the issues. I often
take Brad to school and pick him up myself, hoping to spend as much time
as I can with him through his growth. I don't want him to be a Hong
Kong child! He's very clever now, he knows how to put on his own shirt,
pants and socks. I accompany him in and out because I'm afraid he may
rely too much on the domestic worker, I want to train him to do things
himself. Earlier there were kidnapper rumors which had troubled me, but
luckily, the reason was possibly due to a misunderstanding in a family
dispute and it's not considered a societal issue! [Before] I was so
worried I couldn't sleep, I stayed up late at night to read what people
are saying online. We were very worried, but I didn't tell my son about
the kidnapper, I don't want him to know there are so many bad people in
the world.